Let’s be honest — a lot of us dream about that perfect relationship. You know, the one filled with love, passion, warmth, and mutual support. Women often say they want to feel safe and protected. Men want to feel appreciated and backed up by their partner. Sounds great, right?
But in reality, those dreams don’t always match how things play out. When relationships fall apart, people tend to point fingers — at each other, or even at the whole opposite sex. The truth is, before we blame anyone, it’s worth understanding the different kinds of relationships that exist and doing a little self-reflection. What type of relationship are you in? What kind are you really looking for?
Relationships aren’t static — they evolve
As time goes on, relationships change. Priorities shift, you get to know each other better, and life throws new challenges your way. The strongest couples are the ones who grow together. When both people are willing to put in the work and truly value each other, that’s where real love starts to take root.
According to psychologists, there are three main types of romantic relationships:
- Pleasure-based (Hedonistic)
- Codependent
- Mature (Adult)
Let’s break them down.
1. Pleasure-First Relationships
At the beginning of a relationship, it’s all about the good times — flirting, fun, passion, and intense chemistry. This is what’s known as a hedonistic relationship. It’s focused on pleasure. Everything feels exciting and new, and both people go out of their way to make each other happy. Not necessarily out of deep care, but because it feels good.
This is often referred to as the “honeymoon phase.” It’s fun, unforgettable, and usually pretty short-lived. If the relationship doesn’t grow beyond this stage — if neither partner is interested in building something deeper — things tend to fizzle out.
If that’s where you’re at, and you know it’s run its course, try to walk away with kindness and maturity. No drama, no games. Just honesty.
2. Codependent Relationships
This is probably the most common (and most misunderstood) type of relationship. Codependency is deeply rooted in traditional roles — where the man is expected to provide financially, and the woman takes care of everything else: the home, the kids, emotional support.
But here’s the thing: these relationships aren’t built on mutual respect — they’re built on duty and obligation.
Over time, people grow apart. Needs evolve. Resentment builds. Arguments become routine, or worse, partners seek love and validation outside the relationship. A lot of couples in this category split somewhere between year 7 and 10.
If this sounds familiar, it doesn’t mean you’re doomed — but it does mean something needs to change. Real love can’t thrive without honest communication, emotional growth, and mutual respect.
3. Mature, Healthy Relationships
This is the gold standard. Adult relationships are built on respect, communication, and emotional maturity. It’s not about control or dependency. It’s about seeing your partner as a whole, independent person — someone with their own thoughts, needs, dreams — and choosing to support them anyway.
In a mature relationship, both people take responsibility. They talk openly. They listen without judgment. They work through challenges together, not against each other.
But this kind of connection takes effort. If you're used to bottling up your emotions or always putting your partner's needs first (or vice versa), working with a therapist can really help you break old patterns and build something healthier.
So, What Kind of Relationship Do You Want?
If the third type — the healthy, adult kind — speaks to you, you’re not alone. But it starts with being honest with yourself, and then finding someone who shares that same mindset.
If you’re looking to meet people who are ready for real, respectful connections, our dating platform is a great place to start. Here, you can actually talk about what matters — not just swipe and hope for the best. Connect with amazing women who are just as interested in building something meaningful as you are.
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